Eat Shrink And Be Merry

Ha! Fooled ya! With the U.S. presidential race heating up and all, I just thought I’d get your attention with this nifty title! I’m not really offering my opinion on Hillary (cuz I’m a bit of a political not-know-how). What I’m really offering my opinion about is celery, one of my favorite veggies.

Why, oh, why do I love celery so much, you wonder? Is it because it’s such a dieting mainstay–the ol’ “negative calorie” thing? You know, how the action of eating celery actually burns more calories than the celery itself contains? Well, that’s important, but I’m not sure I buy into the theory entirely. Or how celery has long been recognized by Chinese Medicine as a well-known blood pressure reducer? It’s true–all you need is two stalks a day to drop blood pressure by 12-14%. Seems like a little, but it’s actually a lot! Maybe I lust for celery because it’s chalk-full o’ vitamin C. That means it’ll crank up my immune system so I can fight off disease, and also do battle against those nasty cell destroyers called free radicals. (Okay, now we’re talkin’. Now we’re getting into the real nitty gritty about why I secretly covet my neighbor’s celery.)

You see, it’s all about vanity! Allright, I admit it! Call me shallow. Call me vain. Call me a normal, average woman. Celery, because of its antioxidants (including vitamin C), is great protection against those free radicals that cause us to look older than we are. We need all the antioxidants we can get to help prevent wrinkles! Truth is, celery is excellent “skin food.” It contains compounds that are helpful for our connective tissue, and that includes skin. Plus, celery contains both potassium and sodium in near-perfect ratios. Those minerals help regulate fluid balance in our bodies. Read: Celery is a big-time bloat buster! Bloat-Be-Gone! What woman doesn’t want to look ten years younger and rid her body of that icky-thicky bloaty feeling? (Why do I feel a song lyric in there somewhere? “You’ve lost that bloaty feeling…whoa, oh, oh, that…icky-thicky feeling…”)

I can’t say I’m sorry. I offer no apologies for my illicit, vanity-inspired love affair with celery. I admit that I get it as much as I can. Yup. Several times a day, in fact. (Now I’m bragging!) I put it in salads, soups, and stews. (Don’t forget the leaves–they’re the part that has the most nutrients!) I dunk it in hummus and almond butter (not together–I’m not into threesomes!) I juice celery every day with carrots and beets and parsley–another great diuretic, bloat busting concoction.

All I can say is that if Celery were running for president, I would be campaign manager!

P.S. Celery is one of those commercially-grown vegetables that’s in the Environmental Working Group’s “top 12 most-sprayed-with-pesticides” list. If you’re concerned about pesticides and implications for your health, you might consider buying organic celery.