Eat Shrink And Be Merry

My sister, Margie, sent me this fun personality test today that I thought I’d pass along. Do not cheat on this one—go with the first dessert you pick! If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which would you choose? (Sorry, you can only pick one!) Pick your dessert, then read what psychiatrists have to say about you.

Here are your choices:
1. Angel Food Cake
2. Brownies
3. Lemon Meringue
4. Vanilla Cake with Chocolate Icing
5. Strawberry Short Cake
6. Chocolate on Chocolate
7. Ice Cream
8. Carrot Cake

You can’t change your mind once you scroll down, so think carefully about what your choice will be! Okay, now that you’ve made your choice, this is what the research says about you:
1. ANGEL FOOD CAKE — Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.
2. BROWNIES — You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humour and direction. You tend to be very loyal.
3. LEMON MERINGUE — Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don’t try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva but you have many friends.
4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING –Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.
5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE — Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. You can be assertive. Intuitively keen. You are intelligent, but can be very emotional at times.
6. CHOCOLATE ON CHOCOLATE — Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.
7. ICE CREAM — You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don’t like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.
8. CARROT CAKE — You are a very fun loving person who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

I’d love to tell you which dessert I picked, but I suffer from selectophobia, a paralyzing mental disorder which prevents me from choosing my favourite ANYTHING! Favourite song. I dunno. Favourite food? That’s a ridiculous question. If I was stranded on a desert island and could only bring one book to read for the rest of my life? That’s so stupid I’m not even justifying it with an answer. Plus, I absolutely hate hypothetical questions. Best friend? It’s really not nice to rank people. Favourite colour? To wear? To paint my kitchen? For a car? Toe-nail polish? Please clarify! So, when my sister sent me this email “test” (I despise tests, too), I was in complete protest. Mostly because cheesecake isn’t on the list, but also because my paralysis by analysis kicked in and threw off my body’s equilibrium and stressed me out for the whole day. How am I supposed to pick a dessert without answers to the following questions?: Does the carrot cake have cream-cheese icing? Because if it doesn’t, then I don’t want carrot cake at all. What does “lemon meringue” mean? Lemon meringue pie or just lemon-flavoured meringue? There’s a difference, you know. Are the strawberries for the shortcake in season, or am I eating flavourless winter strawberries or (gasp!) soggy frozen berries? Are the brownies homemade or from a hydrogenated mix? With icing? Do they contain nuts? Are we talking about plain ice cream here or a Dairy Queen large vanilla cone dipped in that amazing hot melted chocolate? Answers! I need answers! Come on…fess up. You had all kinds of questions too, and probably thought about which answer would turn out to be “the best” answer, didn’t you? Didn’t you? What do you think a psychiatrist would say about that? Anyway, I gotto go now… it’s 8 pm and my favourite TV show is starting (American Idol).