How to Procrastinate

Posted by: Greta on: May 1st, 2007  »  2 comments

Some days I just don’t feel like working, and today is one of those days. I’ve been procrastinating since 8 am. It’s now 3:19 pm and I’ve basically accomplished nothing. However, I DID manage to have a very deep discussion with Janet via email exchanges that went something like this:

G: I have three types of beets growing in my organic garden. Perhaps I will set up a booth at the St. Jacob’s market.
J: What makes your garden “organic?” Beets me! (That would be a good name for your booth.)

G: I am training Lexi to go to the bathroom in the garden so I don’t have to use pesticides or fertilizers. That’s why it’s organic.
J: FYI, If Donna (our sister and my part-time gardener!)uses those bags of “3-in-one mix” then your garden is not “technically” organic, cause that stuff is not all-natural and actually deposits more chemicals into the water table. Hate to burst your organic bubble. (But I’ll still eat and enjoy every mouthful of your roasted beets!)
Signed,
Janetski Suzuki

G: She isn’t using ANYTHING. It’s all natural, man, so no bubbles are bursting. I am charging 50 cents per beet. You can choose from Detroit Dark Red, Golden Beets, or the hard-to-find Italian Chioggia with red and white striped flesh (looks like a bull’s eye). So there.

J: With that many beets to offer, you should call your booth, “The Beet Goes On… ”

Fifty cents a beet! Rip-off! You better throw in some organic basil leaves as a gift with purchase or you’ll be one lonely booth-tender.

G: People will drive for miles and miles to buy my beets, like they did on Field of Dreams. Not that they bought beets on Field of Dreams, but cars lined up for miles and miles. You know what I mean. Plus, I will offer free recipe cards for my delicious beet recipes, printed on recycled paper with soy inks.

J: No response

G: All this talk of organic gardening makes me want to buy a pair of Birkenstocks. Do they sell those at Winners?

J: No response

G: Did you know that the average chocolate bar contains four to 8 insect legs?

J: Beet it!

Okay, fine. It’s time to get back to work anyway. But not before I read the flyers that arrived in my mailbox this morning. What? There could be an amazing sale on at Lenscrafters or something! Yes, yes, I did have laser eye surgery and don’t need glasses anymore. Good point. But, I know people who wear glasses. Perhaps I’ll organize my rubber bands and coloured paper clips next, since it drives me crazy when things are intertwined and all tangled like that. That should take up 30 minutes or so. Then I’ll google my name and the names of friends to see what comes up. That’ll occupy at least 20 minutes. Plus, I really should check the weather forecast to see if rain is on the way or if I need to water my beets tonight. I just stared at my hair, searching for split ends for 10 whole minutes!! How time flies! How many words can I create using only the middle row of letters on a keyboard? Fad, gas, has, lash, lad, lag, gaga, lala, kaka…oh, I give up. Guess what? Writing this blog as slowly as possible has now taken up 56 minutes. See ya later…it’s quittin’ time!

Comments (2)

  1. Reply

    Sacred Suzie | May 6, 2007 at 4:39 pm →

    Please tell me you’re joking about chocolate bars and insect legs! Ugh.

  2. Reply

    Ola S. | July 6, 2008 at 2:01 pm →

    Sounds like me when I don’t want to do my schoolwork – which is precisely what I’m doing as we speak: going through the blog archives instead of working on a paper…. So, students aren’t the only ones who procrastinate! haha You’ve just made me feel a whole lot better about not having accomplished anything yet today!! :D

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